Ok, once again  here
I'm feeling so deeply sad. Crying, can't stop it...

£Today i have written that i thought that i have found new friends, associated by our Love to Shah Rukh Khan, but it seems that i destoyed all. There was one word i had missunderstood, a word in an interview of SRK and everyone fell into panic. And now they are angry. And i am so soryy about, but can't change it.

But i have should known it better: thid is my life! Something good happens and after that 10 bad things! What have i did wrong in my life that always things happen to me??? I feel like I'm not having the right to be happy! Always losing things, stand alone. I don't really belive in reincarnation but what have i done in another live to earn this?

I wish so hard to be no more blind, to have a bit money to start somewhere else on the world new! As far away as i can... Everything is hopeless. No matter what I do, it is wrong. I always tried to do good things, to be a good person. In every time, people could have come to me to speak about there problems and sorrows. They always got help from me... Whenever there was somebody needing help, i was there!

But what about me? I my darkest hours there was nobody there for me! I couldn't have shown my mother or sister, how i felt because they were hurt on their own. I always have to shown that i am straigt, that i am looking forward, that i don't give up but... it was just acting, a show. And the belive it.

All others went away, in a hurry... So why isn't there someone for me? No one to embrace me? No one, to heal my broken heart??

I can't belive anymore that there will change something.